I have been thinking about this a lot...since Mateo's Memorial service actually. Rev. Michele read some of the poem "The Dash", which I had concerns about having read at the service. This poem talks about someone who speaks at a funeral referring to the dates on the tombstone of a friend, and says that the dates are not what matters most, but the dash between them. Reverend Michele stopped there and said that for Mateo, it seems that there is no dash, actually on his tombstone, there is only one date, but that just because he had never taken a breath of air does not mean that he didn't live.
He did live, for 41 full weeks. He kicked and turned, and punched and elbowed me...we would watch him suck him hand and kick his little legs at our Ultrasounds. He practiced his breathing and grew every day to be able to be able to continue to survive in this world, but him only living in the womb, didn't make him any less ALIVE.
I am pointing this out because there are always two events that are major in our lives. One is birth, we have all experienced it, from one side or another. It is a miracle that we are alive. We not only survived throughout the entire pregnancy of our mothers, we also survived birth, and every hazard that this world presented us with. Whether you believe in God, or not, it is still a miracle that we are here. Look at all the things that are against us everyday...and everyday, we wake up breathing...
And then there is death...this completely mysterious thing that so many fear all of their lives. That fear can be all encompassing, yes, there are those that cannot live for fear of death. And, then others work through that fear and live our passions and our lives with wild abandon. But, the majority of people live somewhere in the middle...afraid of death, but not really comfortable with it. They know that bad things happen, but when they do, they don't know what to say or how to deal with it. They feel bad, but they don't want to think to hard or long about that fact that those things could happen to them.
We are so afraid of death, because with the theories and all the ideas about death that we have...we really don't understand it at all. We hope that there is something out there, and want to always think that our loved ones are watching out for us. I do believe that they are, but everyone believes something different.
We struggle so much with these life events, but really they are the same. You can't have one without the other, and once you experience the first one, it is just a countdown to the second.
So what do you do with your countdown, with your dash? Have you let your fear, and your doubt, keep you from living the life that you want? I have...there was a time when I was so afraid of dying that I was frozen in fear. But every death of a loved one that I experience, somehow helps me step out a little more. I don't know how much I have here. It could be a year, or it could be 40 more. Today I will live my life with wild abandon...I will love more, and give more. Because when I do die, I want my legacy to be love...
I am not afraid anymore...I know that I am loved here, and I have so much love waiting for me there...that there is nothing left to be afraid of.
No comments:
Post a Comment