Renato and I were talking last night about the future and what it holds for us. I was telling him that the thought of being pregnant makes me very happy, but that I long to still be pregnant with Mateo and for the outcome to be different. I also said that the thought of being pregnant again in the future with a little girl, makes me sad. Not because I don't want another girl, but because I want my little boy, my little Mateo. Renato reminded me that even if I was pregnant in the future with a little boy, it wouldn't be the same little boy.
Then we started talking about how we were so set against having more children after him. That we were done and our family was going to be complete. We realized that if that was the case, the next child we have would never have been born...what a sad thought...that we will have children that we never would have had if this didn't happen.
These are the things I ponder today...
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